Back to the grind ...for the girls

Yesterday was hard, the kids had to go back to school. They did have a great day on Monday. My Mom and Dad took Sarah, Almira and Katherine to Shreveport. I have an aunt and uncle there. My uncle is a retired geologist and my aunt was a school teacher before they had their son, Michael. They lost Michael in 2003 to a brain tumor. He fought hard for 2 years, but lost the battle. Michael was one of those brilliant only children. He had just finished his masters in Bio-Chemistry, I believe. He was one of only 4 or 5 students accepted into the program at LSU in Shreveport. I think about my aunt and uncle often. Michael was their entire world. My aunt pulled out her wedding dress which is 50 years old and had Katherine try it on. Then she gave it to Katherine. I couldn't believe it. But Aunt Shirly has no one left to give it to. Katherine is about 5'5" and only weighs about 90 pounds. She wears a size 0 or a 2 in pants. The dress was tight on her through the rib cage. Mom is going to have it let out and cleaned. She will be a beautiful bride. Denis, you are a lucky man.

Back to Michael - I can't imagine watching my child suffer and then losing one of them to a disease. I know alot of people live through this, they must be much stronger than me. For many years I've had this terrible worry of something happening to Sarah. I'm quite paranoid about her going anywhere by herself or being left alone. I think it is from all my years working at the District Attorney's office and then working in the courtroom as a minute clerk. I heard too many horror stories and the news doesn't help either.

I had a nightmare last night about Sarah. I don't know where Jon and Almira were in the dream, but we were alone together on vacation out west somewhere. I had rented an RV and was driving. We had stopped at some roadside store for some reason. Sarah went inside alone while I did something. I showed up and she was drinking a soft drink. I asked her where she got it from and she said she had just opened it and was drinking it. Okay there are several things wrong with this picture. I would never be on vacation alone with Sarah, driving an RV. I also would never send my daughter alone into a store (even though she is almost 10) and she would never just open a drink and start drinking without paying for it. So back to the dream - I fussed at her and told her that I didn't have money to pay for that drink. Our RV was way back down the road and I would have to walk back and get my wallet. (Yeah like that I would park a mile from the store). So I sent her back by herself to the RV and told her to wait on me. (Another yeah - right like I would do that). When I walked back to the RV she wasn't there. She was missing. I sat up straight in the bed, just horrified. I couldn't go back to sleep and that was at 5:45 this morning.

My worst fear in the world is that one of my girls will be abducted. It is probably from seeing the story on the news last night about that hiker in Georgia. Sarah was in the room with me and I couldn't find the TV remote fast enough. I don't let her listen to grisly news stories. The young girl was found dead and decapitated. How can one human being do that to another?!? Her poor family. I finally found the remote, changed the channel and Sarah asked me about it. I told her that it was a bad idea for a pretty young girl to go out hiking in the mountains by herself, it just wasn't safe. There are bad people out there in the world. I told her again that I hope when she is in college or grown she will be safe and not go to places like that alone.

There is a fine line between warning and protecting your children and then scaring them to death. I try to be careful, but I think I've made Sarah scared. She won't hardly leave my side in a store unless Almira is with her, even if I can still see her. Now I'm afraid my paranoid ways have rubbed off on her.

I will admit if either of my girls go away for school I am going to be a nervous wreck. By then there is no telling what kind of high tech devices we will have. I'll make both of them text me every day or call me to tell me there are at home and okay and locked up for the night. That is a long way away and I probably shouldn't even be thinking about it yet. Maybe it is because Sarah is turning 10 in one week. If my mother is reading this right now, she is probably laughing at me because I was so rebellious and didn't want anyone keeping up with me when I was younger. Now I get it!

Sarah and I worked on birthday party invitations last night. We're going to do a backyard campfire cookout. I just couldn't come up with anything else and frankly I don't have a lot of extra money to spend. After Molly's kitten surgery last week which was almost $500.00 and then my desktop computer is giving me the blue screen of death - I'm taking it to the computer fixer store today at lunch and my wireless router is not working in my house. So I packed everything up last night and put it in a box and I'm taking it in. All I can think about is how much is this going to cost me. Yikes!! I've been getting on the internet from one of my neighbor's wireless internet connection lately and I have no idea who it is. But since I started back to school yesterday I don't have a choice until I get mine fixed. But it will all work out. We're just not eating out, going anywhere or spending any money for the month, except Sarah's birthday. It will work itself out, it always does.

I started global finance yesterday and it should be quite interesting, albiet a bit difficult. After this class I have 2 classes left and have to find some way to pass my biology clep or take another 6 hours of science on-line.

Hope everyone has a good day and a good week. I heard from Boris and our box finally arrived in Petro with Christmas presents for everyone. They will be delivered on Thursday. I can't wait to see pictures of Roza and Vika.

Talk to you later,

Kathy B.